I am number 4 in a line of 5 kids. To this day, at almost 30, me and my baby brother who is a year and a half younger, are still known as, “the little kids.” Perhaps it is the way we fall in the lineup of kids, or the fact that we are still the ones who act like children, as we have three very successful siblings to look up to. One is an executive and married to a densits, one is an editor in Chicago and has a husband in advertising and the middle one, who is a successful coach married to a woman who is a scientist. Then there remains my little brother who loves living with my parents and has no intention of moving out, but who does have a good job and professional ambition, and me, working a great career and paying rent in someone’s basement, mostly on time each month!
Despite the fact that I am enjoying the last year of my 20’s, I still hide things from my parents as if they will ground me, but perhaps the other reason is the constant look of disapproval due to what I refer to as, “oversharing.”
Even though my parents are amazing, and way cooler the older I get — like when my dad and I drink whiskey on the rocks wherever appropriate — my tales of getting tail are not something they actively ask about or care to know of. Admittedly, I do not have a great track record, and so I understand their hesitation, but they do not seem to understand the trials and tribulations included in dating in 2016.
For example, I do not have kids nor have I ever been married, which makes me a rare breed these days, however, I have dated people who are divorced and have kids, which is more of the norm. This is a concept that is hard for my parents, who grew up in religious homes, to comprehend. We live in an age where things like finding one night stands via a free app on our phones, followed by ghosting the next day seem to be, “just another weekend.”
The constant turn around and judgment makes it all exhausting but that does not stop me from the continued torture of subjecting myself to it. With all of today’s technology it is nearly impossible to not line a different date up every day of the week, and for a woman, this is a great way to get free drinks or dinner — which sounds fantastic, but with it comes the risk of going out with guys who are usually single for very obvious reasons. This is a necessary step though, as you have to sift through all of them to find the ones worth dating!
So here I am, J, holding on to my 20’s but trying to figure this all out and get my shit together. If anyone has a seemingly normal male, tall and in his mid-to-late 30’s, let me have his number because I still have happy hour open tomorrow, before my dinner date begins.
With love, J!