Let’s face it, dating is exhausting. Correction, finding someone worth dating is exhausting. As a woman in my late 20’s it is hard to meet a man worth investing any time and energy into, let alone someone you can stand to sit through a meal with.
The places to meet guys may be even more exhausting. If we think to many romantic comedies, you would think the grocery store would work, however that means I should probably start wearing a bra and buying something besides bananas and almond milk…not even the occasional purchase of bagel bites helps the cause.
Then, there are bars. No woman who wants a real relationship is going to find her Prince Charming in a bar filled with watered down drinks and second hand smoke.
As a millennial, living in 2016, I turn to online dating, which can be the biggest waste of time, and is often terrifying. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of modern day love stories where this works out, but do people understand how many creepy messages and pathetic profiles women have to sift through before finding someone even worth contacting?
Every time I log on to the many different sites, which are all full of the same people, I think about the naïve little girl that I used to be and remember the love that was formed in “You’ve Got Mail.” I hope to see a new message and read something from someone even half as charming and perfect as Tom Hanks for Meg Ryan. Clearly it has not happened, and that is why I am here writing about the continued struggle.
Just today, I got a message from a seemingly cute guy and after some generic banter back and forth, he said his night would be better if he got to meet me. That seemed sweet. So when I asked what we would do, he replies with, “Make out lol.”
There are so many things wrong with this answer. One, who makes plans to go “make out” with someone? I am 29, not 14. What will he suggest next, holding hands and asking me to go steady? I am also a lady, ass face, so buy me dinner first and then we can most likely make out in the parking lot afterwards, unless you are a complete dud. The other issue I have is why is that something to laugh out loud about? I have always hated the people who use lol after every response.
So, after the weeding out of the ‘worst of em’ you find yourself talking to someone. Sharing numbers and texting all night and figuring out when you can meet and go out. Personally, I am a fan of meeting someone after a couple days, as to not waste my time. If this guy sucks in person, I do not want to have had wasted time getting to know him, when I could have been getting to know someone else.
As B as mentioned, I date more than her, and have a lot of first dates. I recently went on one with a man named John. He was attractive, however his pictures were a little old, he still looked close enough and I did not feel like I was fishing for catfish!
We met for drinks at one of my favorite places. We talked, and flirted and things seemed to be going well. We talked about what we wanted in life: a family, a life with someone, and for now a relationship. Then when we were done, he picked up the tab, as a true gentleman should on the first date, and then walked me to my car.
He kissed me and there we stood, in the parking lot like teenagers not wanting to leave. The next day, I felt excitement and we even made plans for that evening when I was off work. I texted him from my meeting and asked where we should get dinner and he told me to just meet him at his house. Having gone on one date with him for only a couple hours, I told him I would prefer to meet him at the restaurant. His response, and the last time I ever heard from him, “in that case I think I will just go to bed.”
Perhaps this is when an lol is appropriate, because there is not a lot else to do besides laugh it off and thank the high heavens I didn’t go over to his house. Especially since a friends response to this story was that this guy probably doesn’t follow the golden rule of, “Consent is sexy.”
I guess for now, I will continue to check the mail, and hope I have something waiting from a successful business man — if it worked for Meg Ryan, why can’t it work for me?
With love, J!
PS-if a guy won’t meet you out and is a baby about you not meeting him at his house, then stay away! Call me, we can get a drink! Be safe out there!!